SEC YEAR END REPORT CARD 2014

Dear readers.  It is the end of the semester and final grades are in.  I know we are not supposed to show everyone’s grade as we are taught in school to not embarrass the under achievers.

Consider this not a COMMON CORE report.

In the Spirit of peace and love forget about the Middle East, police relations and the economy.

Concentrate on something that is always brings harmonious glee to the masses SEC FOOTBALL.

These assessments are scientific ally calculated so there fore correct.

Therefore there is probably no reason to reply as this is what they call

THE STONE COLD TRUTH!

A  plus

University of Alabama  Tuscaloosa, Alabama  founded 1831 mascot Crimson Tide  SEC entry 1932

Ole Miss beat you.  This changed nothing.  I knew you would be win the SEC WEST anyway and Ole Miss would finish at 8-4 (except Ole Miss beat the school beneath them in the Magnolia State to go 9-3)

Gainesville High School Red Elephant alum Blake Simms should be a Heisman candidate but he is not.

B plus

Ole Miss ,  The University of Mississippi Oxford, MS   founded 1848, mascot  Rebels, SEC entry 1932

Ole Miss came from the bottom – to the middle- to the top third of the conference.

They beat #1 Bama and the for many weeks this season  falsely touted #1 team, Mississippi State with a faux Heisman leader .  They lost to a tough LSU team in the road, had a heart and leg breaking loss to Auburn at home and a weird loss to a mediocre Arkansas team.  Hugh Freeze thinks the Ole Miss job is better than the Florida Gator job.  “No way” you lost in the past might say.  Wins and dollars scientifically prove this.

B 

University of Georgia     Athens, Georgia                              1785        35,520   Bulldogs               1932

Could have, should have and did not.  Unfortunately they lived down to and lost to Georgia Tech who labels the Dawgs “Next Year’s National Champs” every year.

Why are they this high?  The Dawgs beat down Missouri and Auburn in their roller coaster season that has many fans sick and considering who is driving in the future.

B

Auburn University Auburn, Alabama   founded  1856   mascot Tigers(one of many)    SEC entry    1932

Auburn University (not THE UNIVERSITY OF AUBURN as Pat Dye and Bo used to say) was the most dangerous team to play.  They were expected to be 8-4 and had people thinking playoff before they ran out of steam.  From a theological perspective it is believed that the real NCAA commissioner B.L. Zebub called in his contract against LSU for Malzon and their QB and the horseshoe had to be returned.  For a more technical explanation watch Damn Yankees.  No body want to play this offense.

B-

Mississippi State University         Starkville, MS     founded 1878    mascot Bulldogs               SEC entry 1932

MSU who their daddy “The School Up North” shall be now known as “The School Beneath Us”.

They are why the SEC does not need Texas A&M.  The SEC already has a little brother, maroon wearing team that hired Jackie Sherrill.  The y took Bama’s colors, Memphis States logo, Texas A&M’s jerseys, Georgia’s mascot and the Third Reich’s slogan.  As Bugs Bunny would say they are “real Maroons.”  Their best team in history went 10-2 and lost to big brother.  In the spirit of the holidays as Coach Mullen looks like cousin Eddie in Christmas Vacation >  Good luck in the Orange.  Clower Power! To you and yours.

Grade B-

University of Missouri    Columbia, Missouri founded       1839       mascot another Tigers   SEC entry 2012

Missouri for some TV reason joined a conference with no local interest and obviously no desire to support their team in a championship team.  They are average as is a B- grade.  I would rather they be average in the Big Ten as numbers mean nothing up thie whether it be 10-12 or 13 boring teams to watch.

Grade B-

Louisiana State University Baton Rouge, Louisiana founded 1860               mascot Fighting Tigers  SEC entry 1932

A down year for one of the nation’s great programs of the last ten years.  The Grass Eater took Wisconsin and Ole Miss down.   Bigger corn dogs ahead for The Hat.  (Love him)

C plus

Texas A&M University   College Station, Texas    founded 1876    mascot Aggies   SEC entry 2012

For no good reason except for your quest for the Cotton Bowl gets easier as a middle of the pack SEC West team compared to being a middle of the pack Big 12 team.  You had your greatest player ever and went 8-4 last year to beat Duke in a bowl.  For your future in the SEC please referee to the short book “The football Glory of Mississippi State”.  It’s a short read.

C

University of South Carolina   Columbia, S.C.  founded 1801          mascot nasty  SEC entry                1991

You beat Georgia.  Keep saying that.  Clemson beat you.  The visor is sagging.  The Chicken curse has been dormant but it is still in your system.

C-

University of Tennessee               Knoxville, Tennessee     1794       Volunteers         SEC entry  1932

The only thing that has improved on Rocky Top besides the awesome new rap music they play is almost as enjoyable as Rocky Top 1,000 times in one game.  The only change here is that Butch has a better PR man than Dooley.  The same stuff keeps happening.  6-6 and the anticipation of the Belk or Music City Bowl or Birmingham.

D

University of Arkansas   Fayetteville, Arkansas    1871                       Razorbacks         SEC entry 1991

Bringing a taste of the Big Ten to the SEC.  Why? 

D-

University of Kentucky  Lexington, Kentucky       founded 1865                    Wildcats               SEC entry 1932

Annie the musical is being redone.  That is Kentucky football.  The sun will come out tomorrow or is that the lights in Rupp Arena?

D-

Vanderbilt University     Nashville, Tennessee     founded 1873    mascot Commodores     entry 1932

As Dennis Green said in a NFL press conference and a beer commercial-

“They are who we thought they were.” You are Vandy.

F-

University of Florida       Gainesville, Florida          1853      Gators  1932

Your Florida.  What in the Tebow happened to you?