SEC Progress Report week 10 October 29: Trick or Treat Edition or Life in the SEC EAST

So far everything is as usual in the SEC West.  Bama is too good.  LSU is playing host to Bama.  The “lathered up” Cajuns, that idoloze Coach O, are charming yet delusional.  Bama calls Baton Rouge/Red Stick little Tuscaloosa with better food.  Ain't scared. Bobby Boucher will be asking "Mama why them Bamers always destroying us in Tiger Stadium/Death Valley?   Momma gonna say "Where you been at all your life Little Bobby?"

In the SEC East all is the same except IT IS not and it scares me.  UT, GA, even UF stunk it up and UT won!  Cat-lanta might mean now Kentucky is gonna try to own the Georgia Dome in football like they used to in basketball.  (SEC football fans -  Their used to be a great sporting event in March called the SEC basketball tournament played in Atlanta - it was awesome-ask a Kentucky fan about it sometimes.)

Kentucky Grade = A+

Missouri Grade = F- (your killing the SEC curve)

Kentucky 35  Missouri 21 – UK is like Highlander.  You can’t kill them no matter how many cliffs they jump over.  Missouri is like ROAD KILL.  They are not even trying to get up. 

Florida Grade = C

Georgia Grade = F- (see Missouri for the same comments)

Florida 24  Georgia 10 – Florida played bad.  UGA felt sorry for them.  So the Dawgs did not use Isaiah McKenzie or Nick Chubb.  The Dawgs jumped off-sides to negate scoring drives.  One Dawg player jumped up off the ground to run over to taunt the UF punt return who just fumbled instead of recovering the fumble.   Coach John Wayne said it best –  “Life (the SEC)is tough.  It’s tougher when you’re stupid.”

Mississippi State Grade = C- ( see the Missouri, UGA grade comment)

Samford 41  Mississippi State 56 – MSU avoided the first F ever given for a winning team.  Mississippi State, Come on man!  You cant keep giving these small former NAIA and D-3  schools their greatest sporting event in school history. 

Auburn Grade = A

Ole Miss Grade =C-

Auburn 40 Ole Miss 29 – Auburn might be the 2^nd best team in the SEC.  They have a defensive line and a power running game.  Ole Miss has neither. Ole Miss is in free fall on defense.  Ole Miss plays like drag-racers.  They speed out and then slow down and get passed.  Strike 4 Rebs.  Are you even studying?  Are you trying to be the best 6-6 team in the country?  Please don’t, that is not cool.

Tennessee Grade = C
South Carolina Grade = A

Tennessee  21   South Carolina 24  – Pumpkin Orange never made their people so scared.  They had the SEC East locked down.  Tennessee let the South Carolina Gamecocks “Charlie Brown” them and snatch the football away before Tennessee/Charlie Brown before they got to enjoy the SEC East annual sacrifice to Bama called The SEC Championship Game.

Texas A&M Grade = B

New Mexico State 10 Texas A&M  52 – Come on man.  You did not even play the good New Mexico team. 

Be safe.  Enjoy fall and know Jesus is Lord!

Fletcher Law

SEC PROGRESS REPORT WEEK 8 Saturday 10/23/2016: If you ain’t named Bama you need to study harder

This series is now called SEC PROGRESS REPORT from SEC REPORT CARD

SOUTH CAROLINA Grade = C

UMASS 28  SOUTH CAROLINA 34 – UMASS once again proves the bottom of the SEC is not special.  The Fighting  Chickens uniforms and offense looked “straight outta 1975”.  Was it a throwback to Jim Carlen days and USC forgot to inform us? 

Alabama Grade = A+  Texas A&M Grade = human

Texas A&M 14  ALABAMA 33- We tried to pretend Alabama can be challenged.  Wow. 

Missouri Grade = F-  (MIZZOU - you sirs are now on double secret probation.  Please attend the Big 12 expansion future meetings.)

MIDDLE TENNESSEE 51  MISSOURI 45 – The teacher has always loved him some MITSU with Coach Rick Stockstill and Defensive Line Coach Tommy West.   SEC West teams do not get beat by non-conference teams this late in the year.  Ask Houston Nutt.  It is like a sorority girl at Ole Miss wearing white after Labor Day.  It is simply not done.

Arkansas Grade=F  Auburn = A+

ARKANSAS 3  AUBURN  56 - Arkansas in the spirit of Halloween is going from Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.   It’s the Pigs are like some gals the frat boys chase on Saturday night only to be shocked to see what she looks like in daylight on Monday after classes.  Auburn and Coach Gus Malzahn are going Trick or Treating  as a vampire.  They were killed but came back to life.  Danger Will Robinson, Ole Miss and Georgia and maybe even Bama?Auburn is the second best team in the conference and rising up.

Mississippi State Grade = C  Kentucky Grade = B

MISSISSIPPI STATE  38 KENTUCKY 40 – Thanks for playing hard gentlemen.  This was a job rescue game for both coaches.  You both could not win but may both get canned after the season.  The Cats were hanging  tougher than their previous progress reports  indicated.

Vanderbilt Grade = C

TENNESSEE STATE 17  VANDERBILT 35 – How were you losing to Teneessee State late into the first half?  Nerds fot some loving and spotlight for one week.  And as we recall from the classic Remember The Nerds, they cannot handle success.

Ole Miss Grade = F  LSU Grade = A+

OLE MISS 21  LSU  38 – Interim LSU Coach Ed Ogeron made a short stop as head coach of the Ole Miss Rebels and was accused of making them and Colonel Reb cry.  He is back at it as he again made Rebels/LandSharks/Tedddy Bears/ Star War Nerds cry.  Leonard Fournette was a poltergeist for Halloween as he channeled Bo, Hershel and Marcus Dupree and embarrassed what was supposed to be full growed men on the Ole Miss defense. 

Enjoy fall.  Play hard fair and square.  Enjoy life and serve Jesus!

Lift Jesus Up!

Fletcher Law

SEC PROGRESS REPORT WEEK 8 Saturday 10/23/2016: If you ain’t named Bama you need to study harder

This series is now called SEC PROGRESS REPORT from SEC REPORT CARD

SOUTH CAROLINA Grade = C

UMASS 28  SOUTH CAROLINA 34 – UMASS once again proves the bottom of the SEC is not special.  The Fighting  Chickens uniforms and offense looked “straight outta 1975”.  Was it a throwback to Jim Carlen days and USC forgot to inform us? 

Alabama Grade = A+  Texas A&M Grade = human

Texas A&M 14  ALABAMA 33- We tried to pretend Alabama can be challenged.  Wow. 

Missouri Grade = F-  (MIZZOU - you sirs are now on double secret probation.  Please attend the Big 12 expansion future meetings.)

MIDDLE TENNESSEE 51  MISSOURI 45 – The teacher has always loved him some MITSU with Coach Rick Stockstill and Defensive Line Coach Tommy West.   SEC West teams do not get beat by non-conference teams this late in the year.  Ask Houston Nutt.  It is like a sorority girl at Ole Miss wearing white after Labor Day.  It is simply not done.

Arkansas Grade=F  Auburn = A+

ARKANSAS 3  AUBURN  56 - Arkansas in the spirit of Halloween is going from Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.   It’s the Pigs are like some gals the frat boys chase on Saturday night only to be shocked to see what she looks like in daylight on Monday after classes.  Auburn and Coach Gus Malzahn or going Trick or Treating  as a vampire.  They were killed but came back to life.  Danger Will Robinson, Ole Miss and Georgia and maybe even Bama?Auburn is the second best team in the conference and rising up.

Mississippi State Grade = C  Kentucky Grade = B

MISSISSIPPI STATE  38 KENTUCKY 40 – Thanks for playing hard gentlemen.  This was a job rescue for both coaches.  You both could not win but may bothe get canned after the season.  The Cats were hanging  tougher than their previous progress reports  indicated.

Vanderbilt Grade = C

TENNESSEE STATE 17  VANDERBILT 35 – How were you losing to Teneessee State late into the first half?  Nerds fot some loving and spotlight for one week.  And as we recall from the classic Remember The Nerds, they cannot handle success.

Ole Miss Grade = F  LSU Grade = A+

OLE MISS 21  LSU  38 – Interim LSU Coach Ed Ogeron made a short stop as head coach of the Ole Miss Rebels and was accused of making them and Colonel Reb cry.  He is back at it as he again made Rebels/LandSharks/Tedddy Bears/ Star War Nerds cry.  Leonard Fournette was a poltergeist for Halloween as he channeled Bo, Hershel and Marcus Dupree and embarrassed what was supposed to be full growed men on the Ole Miss defense. 

Enjoy fall.  Play hard fair and square.  Enjoy life and serve Jesus!

Lift Jesus Up!

Fletcher Law

In Season and Out of Season - Share Jesus

I was in Publix tonight. I man calls everyone to listen to his announcement at the register at closing time. A public announcement in Publix. He said "The news won't tell you.Its on the websites. Sir do you know we are this (hand signal) close to nuclear war because of the president?" I try to be patient. I was selfish and thought "Why do we need to pay then?" I should have been caring and turned the conversation to Jesus. We can't pass up opportunities.          

2 Timothy 4:2(NLT) "Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching."

SEC Report Card Week 7 Mid Terms October 15, 2016: "Someones Got Some Splaining to do!”

Mississippi State Mid-Term grade = C-

Mississippi State 21  BYU 28   Mississippi State     SEC 1-2, all 2-4

Game day grade = C-; Mississippi State is asked what happened?  The SEC West is what happened.  They took on an unusual tough road test on a Friday and almost came through on a huge road win at BYU. 

Vanderbilt 17  Georgia 16

Vanderbilt  SEC 1-3, all  3-4   Mid-term = C-                                                                                                                                                                                   

Vanderbilt Game Day Grade C-; The Vandy nerds crammed for a test and dodged an F with an impressive gutty win that could turn the Commodore ship to above 500 and a bowl. Zach Cunningham, Vandy LB, thank you sir for playing football the SEC way.

Georgia Mid Term grade = C-  SEC 2-3, all  4-3  

Georgia Game Day Grade F;  Luke 12:48  “From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more.” Spiderman and one of the Busch presidents also quoted this.  Trust me the Bible is the source.   Dawg fans are told every year about how great our state high school football talent is.  And it is great. So? To find the problems from Saturday is like grabbing water with one hand.  Hey Nick Saban lost to Louisiana – Monroe in 2007 in his first year at Bama.  Kirby Smart can clean this mess up if given the time and he can handle the high pitched squeals of Dawg fans.  And yes that type of dawg is prevalent here and also starts with a b like bulldog.  

Alabama Mid-Term Grade= A+   SEC 4-0  all 7-0      

Tennessee Mid-Term Grade = B    Tennessee SEC 2-2 all 5-2

Alabama 49  Tennessee 10                           

Bama Game Day Grade =A+   These guys are going to be arrested for child (the rest of the SEC) abuse soon.                                                

Tennessee Game day Grade = C.                                                                                                                                          A once remarkable season is now looking Belk Bowlish.                 

Missouri 14  Florida 40 

Florida  Mid Term- Grade = A-   SEC 3-1  all 5-1                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Missouri   Mid-Term Grade = F            SEC 0-3 all 2-4

Florida Game Day Grade = A  The Gators are one of  the most boring  good students in class.  Mizzou is the kid in class whose parents never sign report cards or attend parent teacher meetings.

Southern Miss 10  LSU 45

LSU Mid-Term Grade B no C + for firing Les Miles  SEC 2-1 all 4-2

The Tigers lost their Tiger Mike VI who passed away last week.  Les Miles is gone.  They struggled with Southern Miss for too long if they expect to be the A student the fans an Ed Orgeron say they are.  If that is what I think he is saying.  If he can make Colonel Reb cry like he did in Oxford they will be what’s up next for Bama.  Their grade will rise to one LSU fans are convinced it should be.

                                        Salute to Zach Cunningham who plays football the SEC way

SEC Report Card Week 6, October, 8, 9 & Infinity or when LSU & Florida can grow up

No debates here.  We will not reschedule.  Here is the article.

Florida 0  LSU 0 and waiting

Florida grade= F- LSU grade= F-                                                                                                            An old football coach friend once said “There is way too much sissy out there on the field.”   Actually these two darlings refused to take the field.                                                                  I agree with the old coach.  Play the game!!!

Auburn grade = C  Mississippi State grade =  F-

Auburn 38 Mississippi State 14

Dead man walking beats dead man.  One more time the Gus Bus offense of Auburn’s head coach Gus Malzahn rolled.  It was over the football corpse of Mississippi State’s Dan Mullen.                              Or, as many say  “The School at The Bottem Of The SEC EAST.”

Tennessee grade = B  Texas A&M grade = A

Tennessee 38  Texas A&M 45 

As much as I love to yell  after a UT loss“You just got Butch slapped” Tennessee is pretty good. Except from some chicanery from the Florida AD cancelling games and affecting the standings they should win the SEC EAST

Vanderbilt grade = F Kentucky grade = C

Vanderbilt 13  Kentucky 20

Be truthful.  Did you really know the game was played or the score?

Alabama grade = A+  Arkansas grade = C

Alabma 49  Arkansas 30

It is Halloween and Nick “Satan”  Saban is pranking schools and letting them briefly think they can beat Bama.  Jeremy Pruitt the Alabama defensive coordinator is tired of it.  He even yelled at Saban like the old man stopping the bag of dog poo lit on fire and left on his front porch.

Georgia grade = B-  South Carolina grade = C-

Georgia 28  South Carolina 14

It sounds like reading the rushing statistics for Georgia that Vince Dooley was back to calling plays. Georgia rolled like days of old as three running backs Nick Chubb, Sony Michel, and freshman Brian Herrien rushed for 355 yards.  The offense also had a Dooly like 29 passing yards.The defense almost shut out South Carolina.  The bad news is the Dawgs tried to pass and could not with a tough day from the freshman QB.  The young Pups won an SEC game on the road.  Good for them but they GATA get better.

Enjoy Columbus Day off. Trust Jesus not a political party to save us. If you claim an "interest in the Savior's blood" live like it.  Have fun.

Lift Jesus Up!

Fletcher Law

This Columbus Day issue is dedicated to one of the greatest early college football players of all time.  In my opinion Jim Thorpe is the all-time world's greatest athlete due to his Olympic medals won, pro baseball, college and pro football career.  He is just an  AWESOME American hero. Read more about him at http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2013/10/jim-thorpe-facts/

SEC Report Card for Saturday October 1, 2016 Week 5 “Time For One More Play” Edition

Tennessee Grade = A+   Georgia Grade = C                                                                                            

Tennessee 34  Georgia 31

Tennessee was very late with their assignment but they got it in on the buzzer.   This technique is not encouraged by teachers but this time it worked after UGA previously tried the same shaky strategy. The Vols were supposed to romp the Dawgs according to the frustrated post Ole Miss fans of the Red and Black. So now even the final unit grade is unorthodox and surprising.  They get the A+ due to getting it together.  The Dawgs get a C+ for rising to the occasion.  But just like the college freshman who forgot to proofread his paper they turned an A into a very disappointing lesson. The Dawgs forgot to #1 take a sack & safety  for a win (GHS 1976 fans understand this), kickoff deep after their score,  and as Tom Jackson (The old ESPN announcer not the Hilton Head tycoon) always said KNOCK IT DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Texas A&M Grade = A                                                                                              South Carolina Grade = B-

Texas A&M  24                                                                                                           South Carolina 13                                                                                                                                                       Texas A&M played solid in a underrated place to play at the fairgrounds in Columbia, S.C.  They delivered on a long SEC road win. The Aggies seem to be setting up a battle with Ole Miss to be the best team in the West not named Bama.  The Gamecocks have had a rough transition with the new staff earlier.  Thinks are getting somewhat better.  They settled on black as their standard uniform.  This is a solid choice that makes since. Some teams look like bumpkins when wearing black especially when it is not their school color.  South Carolina looks good in their current uniforms.  (I said current. Don’t make me go back and take points away after the Georgia game Chickens by wearing something silly, again) They have settled down and are playing ball.  The UGA Dawgs better be prepared for the hottest stadium in October in America.

Kentucky Grade = F                                                                                             Alabama Grade = A

Kentucky 6  Alabama 34  Kentucky did what they could and that is why they might be looking for a new principal at the end of the year.   Or as LSU says “why wait and fight the crowds, act now!”  Bama went through the paces and still excelled.  The teacher thinks they looked past this assignment to Arkansas.

Ole Miss Grade = A-

Memphis 28  

Ole Miss 48   

                                                                                                                                       Ole Miss came off a party hangover from the week before when against Georgia everything worked.  Ole Miss students should understand the hangover strategy very well.  It looked like their strong lead was slipping away against Memphis like it did against Florida State and Alabama.  It does actually look like somebody is learning something in Oxford.

Missouri Grade = F  LSU Grade = B

Missouri 7  
LSU 42 

Missouri looks like they are diving below Vandy, Kentucky and Mississippi State to be the new weakest team in the conference.  This is not the star you want Mizzou Tigers.  The LSU Tigers won by a lot after firing the great Les Miles and replacing him with perennial interim head coach  Ed Ogeron.  LSU what are you thinking?  Interim coach?  This is not a Baptist church but a once respected football club. Your grade will be higher when we can understand what your interim coach is saying.  The teacher says for class enrichment that you provide subtitles or closed captioning.

I thought only head to head contact was harmful permanently in football.  Obviously for Georgia fans just viewing a game can be harmful to your mental health.                                              

Have fun this week.  It is just a game.  Love Jesus and treat others like you do.

Lift Jesus Up!

Fletcher Law