Saturday, July 9, 2011

Divorce and Child Custody Between A Christian And Non-Christian

YOUR QUESTION:
Here in Canada it is like obligatory that Family Court decided children reside with their mother and the first and main opinions and decisions regard the way of raising children belongs to their mother. I am born-again Christian from 1985, fully devoted for Full Family and mother and father under one roof, but sometime unbeliever wife is kicking out her husband, because she not agrees with the Bible way of dealing with children and other family problems. My questions are: 1) Is it by Bible the father of children is this one person who has major voice regards the way of raising his children? 2) Is it by Bible the home of father should be the main home of his children? Thank you! … and Good Bless you and your extremely important service! Yours in Him, XXXXXXXXX


MY ANSWER:
The Bible made it clear what we do not want to get into as a Christian. It speaks clearly about the problems of marrying a non-Christian. Here is the warning

2 Corinthians 6:14
The Temple of the Living God
"14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"

How horrible when Christians have to have the world settle their problems. The court is settling the problems now in the situation you presented. A legal divorce is a lawsuit.

1 Corinthians 6:1–8
Lawsuits Against Believers
"6 When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints? 2 Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? 3 Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life! 4 So if you have such cases, why do you lay them before those who have no standing in the church? 5 I say this to your shame. Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers, 6 but brother goes to law against brother, and that before unbelievers? 7 To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded? 8 But you yourselves wrong and defraud—even your own brothers!"

A man is supposed to lead, by Christ like service. This of course is when both man and woman are Christians.

1 Corinthians 11:3
"3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God."

Christ example as a groom to his bride, the church, is sacrificial love.
Ephesians 5:23
"23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior."

The Scripture gives plain directives on how this is done.
He gave Himself, His life for His bride the church.
Ephesians 5:25–26
"25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,

Wives would want to submit if they could only see their husbands love them as Christ loves. An unbeliever will not understand this.
Ephesians 5:22–24
Wives and Husbands
"22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands."

Ephesians 5:28–29
"28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,"


Colossians 3:18–19
"Rules for Christian Households
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them."


1 Peter 3:7
"7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."

Your question suggests that the husband in this situation is a Christian and the wife is not.

This marriage biblical base was ruined when the believer married an unbeliever.
The Bible does can not referee a disaster in the marriage of a believer and unbeliever.
The Bible already said do not do it. But now, like we humans do, this person is in a bad situation.

The man will have to agree with the court's opinion now no matter if it's ruling is or is not in accordance with Scripture. If the court ruling gives the children to the unbelieving wife that is how it will be.

1 Corinthians 7:12–14
"12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy."

If the wife leaves she leaves, and/or kicks him out, the man still has to be the father of the children.

The husband needs to be concerned about his marriage, wife and children. In That care he needs to be greatly concerned about the wife and children's salvation.
In this messed up poorly started marriage the Christian husband must stick to his Christian convictions carried out in his relationship to his wife and kids.
The Lord will be faithful. Pray for and help towards reconciliation and new birth for the wife and children.

Yes the Bible said the husband is the head of the marriage as Christ the groom loves His bride the church.
The (believing) wife is supposed to be mutually submissive in service to her spouse and children.
An unbelieving wife will not act like a Christian because she is not saved and does not have Christ dwelling in her through the Holy Spirit.
This is why the marriage was wrong. This is not a biblical reason to end the marriage though.
The biblical reasons of divorce are adultery and abandonment.
Again, this marriage has been thrown into divorce court. The Bible does not referee divorce, the world does in court. This is why the Bible says for Christians to stay out of court concerning their personal matters.

This tragedy is an example of exactly why Christians should not marry unbelievers.

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